The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing.
About Me
- dome of om
- A woman, a child, an adolescent Looking for love, happiness and friendship Trying to turn my failures into success Learning the hard way that life is not a bed of roses A hard core romantic, a realist too Vulnerable but with a backbone of steel Possessive about every little thing Detatched from life at moments Life amuses me, makes me cry, angers me, makes me cry out in frustration. But I love to live. I live life on my terms....
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Madness
In madness When the dream is realThe Dalai Lama's ghost appearsAnd haunts my soul With sun-lit blissHigh above the mountain mists
Then I hear the Dark one talkIn silken tones that hide the bark"Reality's a lonely childWho serves my wishes for awhile And lets you see what you can't be;Creator of Eternity."
Today is just another dayThe medication smoothes the wayThe trembling hands, the need to prayThe gods have left, the halls are grey
Though collared by the silken voiceI wonder if I had a choiceTo stay inside that fateful dayWhen madness called me out to play
Woody Pine
Saturday, September 29, 2007
gandhigiri the munnabhai way
26 year old Rahul at a disc with his girlfriend and a few friends. Some guys pass lewd comments at the woman. Friends crow in fear since Rahul is infamous for his volatile temperament. Rahul walks towards the offenders while friends watch with bated breath, places his hands on one of their shoulders and in a cool voice delivers a sermon on how to respect women. Friends gasp in surprise, has this guy been attending anger management classes? No, not anger management classes, explains Rahul, but the effects of Gandhigiri as inspired by Munnabhai.
Not only Rahul but innumerable Indians have turned over a new leaf after having watched the roaring 2006 hit Lage Raho Munnabhai. Patience and tolerance seem to have made inroads into the hearts of otherwise impulsive and a restless mass. In Lucknow a wine shop owner Gurnaam Singh was presented flowers by a dozen youths who wanted him to close down the liquor joint in front of a temple. Gandhigiri spread like wildfire since then and people throughout took to this unique concept of showing their protest.
The film’s director Rajkumar Hirani was flooded with hundreds of stories from across the country about the way audiences have been reacting after watching the film. An old couple was about to move into their new house and was thinking of consulting a Vastu expert before shifting. But they dropped the idea after watching ‘Lage Raho Munnabhai’, which rubbishes the beliefs in numerologists and astrologers.In another incident, a young guy came out of the theatre after watching the movie and after noticing the disposed off tickets strewn all over the place he started picking them up and threw them in a waste basket. Meanwhile, in Delhi some youths have already adopted the slogan and written on the back of their cars – ‘Gandhigiri wins over Dadagiri’.
In Delhi elderly people stripped off clothes (this is directly out of Lage Raho Munnabhai) to shame government officials in charge of pensions to actually disburse their funds. And there are stories about pavement dwellers, in response to trash outrageously dropped where they live by thoughtless passers-by, cheerfully (but pointedly) cleaning it up — again right out of the film. The father of the nation would really be smiling to see his children living out his tenets nearly 60 years after his death.
Not only Rahul but innumerable Indians have turned over a new leaf after having watched the roaring 2006 hit Lage Raho Munnabhai. Patience and tolerance seem to have made inroads into the hearts of otherwise impulsive and a restless mass. In Lucknow a wine shop owner Gurnaam Singh was presented flowers by a dozen youths who wanted him to close down the liquor joint in front of a temple. Gandhigiri spread like wildfire since then and people throughout took to this unique concept of showing their protest.
The film’s director Rajkumar Hirani was flooded with hundreds of stories from across the country about the way audiences have been reacting after watching the film. An old couple was about to move into their new house and was thinking of consulting a Vastu expert before shifting. But they dropped the idea after watching ‘Lage Raho Munnabhai’, which rubbishes the beliefs in numerologists and astrologers.In another incident, a young guy came out of the theatre after watching the movie and after noticing the disposed off tickets strewn all over the place he started picking them up and threw them in a waste basket. Meanwhile, in Delhi some youths have already adopted the slogan and written on the back of their cars – ‘Gandhigiri wins over Dadagiri’.
In Delhi elderly people stripped off clothes (this is directly out of Lage Raho Munnabhai) to shame government officials in charge of pensions to actually disburse their funds. And there are stories about pavement dwellers, in response to trash outrageously dropped where they live by thoughtless passers-by, cheerfully (but pointedly) cleaning it up — again right out of the film. The father of the nation would really be smiling to see his children living out his tenets nearly 60 years after his death.
Living in Sin
Who says you cant have the best of both worlds!!! For those Gen-Next members who shirk away from the idea of marriage, but would at the same time love to live in close proximity with their partners, live together or live-in relationships seem to be the most viable option. Surprising but true, live in relationships are also slowly becoming a feature of the urban Indian lifestyle. Throwing caution to the winds, many of the city based youth are choosing to live under the same roof without tying the knot. Here too the role of Bollywood in colouring the mindset of the populace cannot be denied. The 2005 film ‘Salaam Namaste’ had its protagonists, Ambar(Preity Zinta) and Nik(Saif Ali Khan) living with each other without performing the nuptial rights. And though the setting of the film was in Australia the picture in India is not much different.
Though the conservative Indian mindset is yet to welcome the concept of live together with open arms, the custom of men and women living together without marriage has been in practice for ages. Earlier, it was a fashion for zamindars to maintain several live-in women in their ‘zennas’. The idea of a man of considerable wealth having an additional household for his entertainment was not at all seen as immoral. This trend changed with the emergence of independent India,as the era of the extravagant and pleasure seeking nawabs,princes and zamindars came to an end. With monogamous marriages becoming the order of the day, the extra marital live-in lifestyle of men steadily declined.
The biggest determent in live-in relationships through the ages seems to have been the Indian society’s obsession with virginity. Indian women are expected to remain virgins till they marry. A woman with pre-marital sexual experience or with a history of ‘living in’ had slim chances of being accepted in ‘respectable’ society. But in this age the Indian woman is no longer afraid to explore her sexuality and Indian men, specially the youth, normally do not cherish the thought of getting married to a virgin. Indian society is slowly creeping out of the various moral regimentations and a woman who lives in with her partner is no longer treated as a social outcaste. Many television actors and actresses like Jaya Bhattacharya(of Kyuki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi fame) are opting for live-ins.
The sudden swell in the BPO industry is also one of the reasons for the youth working in this sector to opt for living together rather than getting married. Economic independence, coupled with self-assurance and a higher spending power has effected a change in the social structure as traditional units dissolve and new ones come into shape. Young men and women working in the BPO or IT sector have erratic workhours and at times find it difficult to manage their marital and work lives. The odd work hours might cause a tension in the household and so many of the young BPO professionals shed their inhibitions and settle for a live-in relationship.
The advocates of live-in relationships feel it is a good idea to live together before getting married to see how compatible a couple really is. They stress that it is easier to overlook the ‘annoying’ side of one’s partner during dating. But living in 24*7 with the someone makes you discover the true essence of that person. So you know exactly what you are heading for if you eventually decide to get married and are saved from rude shocks later on.
Moreover many of the live-in couples feel that it is easier to walk out of the household if the marital legalities are not involved. A divorce brings in a lot of cumbersome legal work and also jeopardizes the lives of not only two individuals, but also their families. On the other hand in a live-in relationship one can sever the ties much more conveniently as there is no law to hamper one partner from moving out of the current living-in arrangement.
Moreover in this jet age, marriage has lost its appeal to most members of the younger generation. Marriage means commitment , responsibility and faithfulness which their carefree bent of mind finds it difficult to handle.
The question though remains: Is Indian society ready for live-in relationships? In a nation where marriages are still negotiated by parents and daughters are conditioned from childhood to submit to their parents decree, can live-in relationships ever become the norm?
Its true that the trend is catching up in the metros. More and more couples are living together before marriage to gauge their compatibility. But the scenario is not quite the same elsewhere in the country. India still remains a largely conservative society and the phenomenon of unmarried couples living together is largely restricted to city-bred professionals.
Though the conservative Indian mindset is yet to welcome the concept of live together with open arms, the custom of men and women living together without marriage has been in practice for ages. Earlier, it was a fashion for zamindars to maintain several live-in women in their ‘zennas’. The idea of a man of considerable wealth having an additional household for his entertainment was not at all seen as immoral. This trend changed with the emergence of independent India,as the era of the extravagant and pleasure seeking nawabs,princes and zamindars came to an end. With monogamous marriages becoming the order of the day, the extra marital live-in lifestyle of men steadily declined.
The biggest determent in live-in relationships through the ages seems to have been the Indian society’s obsession with virginity. Indian women are expected to remain virgins till they marry. A woman with pre-marital sexual experience or with a history of ‘living in’ had slim chances of being accepted in ‘respectable’ society. But in this age the Indian woman is no longer afraid to explore her sexuality and Indian men, specially the youth, normally do not cherish the thought of getting married to a virgin. Indian society is slowly creeping out of the various moral regimentations and a woman who lives in with her partner is no longer treated as a social outcaste. Many television actors and actresses like Jaya Bhattacharya(of Kyuki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi fame) are opting for live-ins.
The sudden swell in the BPO industry is also one of the reasons for the youth working in this sector to opt for living together rather than getting married. Economic independence, coupled with self-assurance and a higher spending power has effected a change in the social structure as traditional units dissolve and new ones come into shape. Young men and women working in the BPO or IT sector have erratic workhours and at times find it difficult to manage their marital and work lives. The odd work hours might cause a tension in the household and so many of the young BPO professionals shed their inhibitions and settle for a live-in relationship.
The advocates of live-in relationships feel it is a good idea to live together before getting married to see how compatible a couple really is. They stress that it is easier to overlook the ‘annoying’ side of one’s partner during dating. But living in 24*7 with the someone makes you discover the true essence of that person. So you know exactly what you are heading for if you eventually decide to get married and are saved from rude shocks later on.
Moreover many of the live-in couples feel that it is easier to walk out of the household if the marital legalities are not involved. A divorce brings in a lot of cumbersome legal work and also jeopardizes the lives of not only two individuals, but also their families. On the other hand in a live-in relationship one can sever the ties much more conveniently as there is no law to hamper one partner from moving out of the current living-in arrangement.
Moreover in this jet age, marriage has lost its appeal to most members of the younger generation. Marriage means commitment , responsibility and faithfulness which their carefree bent of mind finds it difficult to handle.
The question though remains: Is Indian society ready for live-in relationships? In a nation where marriages are still negotiated by parents and daughters are conditioned from childhood to submit to their parents decree, can live-in relationships ever become the norm?
Its true that the trend is catching up in the metros. More and more couples are living together before marriage to gauge their compatibility. But the scenario is not quite the same elsewhere in the country. India still remains a largely conservative society and the phenomenon of unmarried couples living together is largely restricted to city-bred professionals.
heart of darkness
In this 21st century, we the modern people referred to as Gen-Next, laud ourselves on being progressive pertaining to matters regarding caste and creed. But even in this era of globalization and ‘enlightenment’ we have pushed another burning issue to the background—COLOUR: that of fair and dark people. Moreover, this discrimination against the not so fair skinned people seems to be directed only towards the so called ‘weaker sex’ of society. Though it may be difficult to believe, girls in India face this problem even today.
Being fair is seen to be indicative of class, caste and status in the Indian society. You have to just browse through the various matrimonial ads to realize how the complexion hierarchy works. ‘Fair’ is the most sought after, followed by ‘wheatish medium’ while ‘dark’ features nowhere in the list. In most cases dark skinned girls are passed off as ‘dusky’. The idea is to pair off ‘fair’ people so that their light-skinned offsprings experience wider opportunities and success in life. So the vicious cycle continues, sustaining at once a widespread cultural prejudice and a parasitic beauty industry.
The cosmetic industry is flooded with skin lightening products and women ranging from sixteen to sixty wildly grab the various ‘fairness’ creams and potions. The only objective being to lighten their skin tones and thus become desirable. The Indian mindset equates fair with being beautiful. The ‘Fair and Lovely’ ad shows a dark-skinned girl being refused the post of an air hostess due to her complexion, much to the distress of her father. Applying the fairness cream for six weeks she manages to bag the job. The marketing strategy seems to blatantly sell the idea that whether you want to become an air hostess or a doctor, what matters is your skin tone and not your academic qualification.
The only silver lining seems to be the fact that in this age of metrosexuality the fairness creams are also eyeing men as potential customers. Unilever recently launched ‘Fair and Handsome’, targeted at the metrosexual, image conscious man. The underlying message being that fair is what makes one successful, desirable, and beautiful. In India, this war of colours starts very early, right from the time of birth. When a girl child is born, the first question from her ‘concerned’ family is not regarding her health but her skin colour. As it is, she starts her life on the backfoot being born a girl and if she happens to be dark-skinned then her miseries get multiplied. Comparisons with other light-skinned females around her, barbs and taunts regarding her colour, become\n her lifelong companions. Hold on, however! The scenario is not all bleak and dreary. Times are changing and ‘black’ seems to be gaining ground with a vengeance, especially owing to the influence of India’s growing diaspora. With cross cultural marriages and Indian “dark” skinned girls creating quite a sensation in the West and down under, the “brand equity” of the dark skinned is certainly on the rise. In the fashion circuit, dusky models like Carol Gracias, Madhu Sapre, Tupur and Tapur Chatterjee, Koena Mitra are all considered hot properties. Bollywood too is not lagging behind. Actresses like Rani Mukherjee, Kajol, Bipasha Basu—are changing the definitions of beauty. Taking heart from the desirability quotient of these dusky women, dark-skinned girls are no longer shy of flaunting their natural skin-tone.\n Moreover, fashion conscious females are nowadays using tanning lotions and skin darkening bases to sport the ‘dusky’ look. "
The only silver lining seems to be the fact that in this age of metrosexuality the fairness creams are also eyeing men as potential customers. Unilever recently launched ‘Fair and Handsome’, targeted at the metrosexual, image conscious man. The underlying message being that fair is what makes one successful, desirable, and beautiful.
In India, this war of colours starts very early, right from the time of birth. When a girl child is born, the first question from her ‘concerned’ family is not regarding her health but her skin colour. As it is, she starts her life on the backfoot being born a girl and if she happens to be dark-skinned then her miseries get multiplied. Comparisons with other light-skinned females around her, barbs and taunts regarding her colour, become her lifelong companions.
Hold on, however! The scenario is not all bleak and dreary. Times are changing and ‘black’ seems to be gaining ground with a vengeance, especially owing to the influence of India’s growing diaspora. With cross cultural marriages and Indian “dark” skinned girls creating quite a sensation in the West and down under, the “brand equity” of the dark skinned is certainly on the rise. In the fashion circuit, dusky models like Carol Gracias, Madhu Sapre, Tupur and Tapur Chatterjee, Koena Mitra are all considered hot properties. Bollywood too is not lagging behind. Actresses like Rani Mukherjee, Kajol, Bipasha Basu—are changing the definitions of beauty. Taking heart from the desirability quotient of these dusky women, dark-skinned girls are no longer shy of flaunting their natural skin-tone. Moreover, fashion conscious females are nowadays using tanning lotions and skin darkening bases to sport the ‘dusky’ look.
Tables are thus turning, albeit slowly. Black is no longer taboo. And taking a cue from Sanjay Leela Bhansali, the director who made ‘black’ a rage, we can proudly say : ‘Black is the colour of knowledge/ Black is the colour of power’. Black Is also Beautiful…
Being fair is seen to be indicative of class, caste and status in the Indian society. You have to just browse through the various matrimonial ads to realize how the complexion hierarchy works. ‘Fair’ is the most sought after, followed by ‘wheatish medium’ while ‘dark’ features nowhere in the list. In most cases dark skinned girls are passed off as ‘dusky’. The idea is to pair off ‘fair’ people so that their light-skinned offsprings experience wider opportunities and success in life. So the vicious cycle continues, sustaining at once a widespread cultural prejudice and a parasitic beauty industry.
The cosmetic industry is flooded with skin lightening products and women ranging from sixteen to sixty wildly grab the various ‘fairness’ creams and potions. The only objective being to lighten their skin tones and thus become desirable. The Indian mindset equates fair with being beautiful. The ‘Fair and Lovely’ ad shows a dark-skinned girl being refused the post of an air hostess due to her complexion, much to the distress of her father. Applying the fairness cream for six weeks she manages to bag the job. The marketing strategy seems to blatantly sell the idea that whether you want to become an air hostess or a doctor, what matters is your skin tone and not your academic qualification.
The only silver lining seems to be the fact that in this age of metrosexuality the fairness creams are also eyeing men as potential customers. Unilever recently launched ‘Fair and Handsome’, targeted at the metrosexual, image conscious man. The underlying message being that fair is what makes one successful, desirable, and beautiful. In India, this war of colours starts very early, right from the time of birth. When a girl child is born, the first question from her ‘concerned’ family is not regarding her health but her skin colour. As it is, she starts her life on the backfoot being born a girl and if she happens to be dark-skinned then her miseries get multiplied. Comparisons with other light-skinned females around her, barbs and taunts regarding her colour, become\n her lifelong companions. Hold on, however! The scenario is not all bleak and dreary. Times are changing and ‘black’ seems to be gaining ground with a vengeance, especially owing to the influence of India’s growing diaspora. With cross cultural marriages and Indian “dark” skinned girls creating quite a sensation in the West and down under, the “brand equity” of the dark skinned is certainly on the rise. In the fashion circuit, dusky models like Carol Gracias, Madhu Sapre, Tupur and Tapur Chatterjee, Koena Mitra are all considered hot properties. Bollywood too is not lagging behind. Actresses like Rani Mukherjee, Kajol, Bipasha Basu—are changing the definitions of beauty. Taking heart from the desirability quotient of these dusky women, dark-skinned girls are no longer shy of flaunting their natural skin-tone.\n Moreover, fashion conscious females are nowadays using tanning lotions and skin darkening bases to sport the ‘dusky’ look. "
The only silver lining seems to be the fact that in this age of metrosexuality the fairness creams are also eyeing men as potential customers. Unilever recently launched ‘Fair and Handsome’, targeted at the metrosexual, image conscious man. The underlying message being that fair is what makes one successful, desirable, and beautiful.
In India, this war of colours starts very early, right from the time of birth. When a girl child is born, the first question from her ‘concerned’ family is not regarding her health but her skin colour. As it is, she starts her life on the backfoot being born a girl and if she happens to be dark-skinned then her miseries get multiplied. Comparisons with other light-skinned females around her, barbs and taunts regarding her colour, become her lifelong companions.
Hold on, however! The scenario is not all bleak and dreary. Times are changing and ‘black’ seems to be gaining ground with a vengeance, especially owing to the influence of India’s growing diaspora. With cross cultural marriages and Indian “dark” skinned girls creating quite a sensation in the West and down under, the “brand equity” of the dark skinned is certainly on the rise. In the fashion circuit, dusky models like Carol Gracias, Madhu Sapre, Tupur and Tapur Chatterjee, Koena Mitra are all considered hot properties. Bollywood too is not lagging behind. Actresses like Rani Mukherjee, Kajol, Bipasha Basu—are changing the definitions of beauty. Taking heart from the desirability quotient of these dusky women, dark-skinned girls are no longer shy of flaunting their natural skin-tone. Moreover, fashion conscious females are nowadays using tanning lotions and skin darkening bases to sport the ‘dusky’ look.
Tables are thus turning, albeit slowly. Black is no longer taboo. And taking a cue from Sanjay Leela Bhansali, the director who made ‘black’ a rage, we can proudly say : ‘Black is the colour of knowledge/ Black is the colour of power’. Black Is also Beautiful…
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