Living in Sin

Who says you cant have the best of both worlds!!! For those Gen-Next members who shirk away from the idea of marriage, but would at the same time love to live in close proximity with their partners, live together or live-in relationships seem to be the most viable option. Surprising but true, live in relationships are also slowly becoming a feature of the urban Indian lifestyle. Throwing caution to the winds, many of the city based youth are choosing to live under the same roof without tying the knot. Here too the role of Bollywood in colouring the mindset of the populace cannot be denied. The 2005 film ‘Salaam Namaste’ had its protagonists, Ambar(Preity Zinta) and Nik(Saif Ali Khan) living with each other without performing the nuptial rights. And though the setting of the film was in Australia the picture in India is not much different.
Though the conservative Indian mindset is yet to welcome the concept of live together with open arms, the custom of men and women living together without marriage has been in practice for ages. Earlier, it was a fashion for zamindars to maintain several live-in women in their ‘zennas’. The idea of a man of considerable wealth having an additional household for his entertainment was not at all seen as immoral. This trend changed with the emergence of independent India,as the era of the extravagant and pleasure seeking nawabs,princes and zamindars came to an end. With monogamous marriages becoming the order of the day, the extra marital live-in lifestyle of men steadily declined.
The biggest determent in live-in relationships through the ages seems to have been the Indian society’s obsession with virginity. Indian women are expected to remain virgins till they marry. A woman with pre-marital sexual experience or with a history of ‘living in’ had slim chances of being accepted in ‘respectable’ society. But in this age the Indian woman is no longer afraid to explore her sexuality and Indian men, specially the youth, normally do not cherish the thought of getting married to a virgin. Indian society is slowly creeping out of the various moral regimentations and a woman who lives in with her partner is no longer treated as a social outcaste. Many television actors and actresses like Jaya Bhattacharya(of Kyuki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi fame) are opting for live-ins.
The sudden swell in the BPO industry is also one of the reasons for the youth working in this sector to opt for living together rather than getting married. Economic independence, coupled with self-assurance and a higher spending power has effected a change in the social structure as traditional units dissolve and new ones come into shape. Young men and women working in the BPO or IT sector have erratic workhours and at times find it difficult to manage their marital and work lives. The odd work hours might cause a tension in the household and so many of the young BPO professionals shed their inhibitions and settle for a live-in relationship.
The advocates of live-in relationships feel it is a good idea to live together before getting married to see how compatible a couple really is. They stress that it is easier to overlook the ‘annoying’ side of one’s partner during dating. But living in 24*7 with the someone makes you discover the true essence of that person. So you know exactly what you are heading for if you eventually decide to get married and are saved from rude shocks later on.
Moreover many of the live-in couples feel that it is easier to walk out of the household if the marital legalities are not involved. A divorce brings in a lot of cumbersome legal work and also jeopardizes the lives of not only two individuals, but also their families. On the other hand in a live-in relationship one can sever the ties much more conveniently as there is no law to hamper one partner from moving out of the current living-in arrangement.
Moreover in this jet age, marriage has lost its appeal to most members of the younger generation. Marriage means commitment , responsibility and faithfulness which their carefree bent of mind finds it difficult to handle.
The question though remains: Is Indian society ready for live-in relationships? In a nation where marriages are still negotiated by parents and daughters are conditioned from childhood to submit to their parents decree, can live-in relationships ever become the norm?
Its true that the trend is catching up in the metros. More and more couples are living together before marriage to gauge their compatibility. But the scenario is not quite the same elsewhere in the country. India still remains a largely conservative society and the phenomenon of unmarried couples living together is largely restricted to city-bred professionals.